Along the Tracks

Tuesday, April 13, 2004
 

That 9/11 Show



(INTRO MUSIC AND FADE.) “Welcome to ‘That 9/11 Show,’ where we work out the issues leading to that tragic day, and everything since, with the help of our panel of experts, all in front of a live studio audience! (Audience: CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.)

“I’m Larry Stringer, host of the show, and today, we’re going to look at issues of blame. (Audience: OOOOH!) Our guest is National Security Adviser Condoleeza Rice, who is in the hot seat after testimony in our last episode from her former employee and present top critic, Richard Clarke (Audience: CHEERS AND BOOS TOGETHER.)

“Miss Rice, Dr. Bill has something for you.”

“Condi - may I call you ‘Condi’? - you’ve indicated feelings of betrayal over Richard’s recent statements. It’s understandable you would be defensive. Why has this become personal for you?” (Audience member: YEAH!)

“Well, it’s not really personal, just a disagreement over interpretation of facts -” (Audience: GENERAL BOOS DURING RICE RESPONSE.)

“I have limited time here, Condi, (Audience: ERUPTIVE CHEERS) so let me interrupt to give my take on this. You need to work through this rough patch by admitting your own culpability and forgiving Richard for his failings as a counterterrorism adviser.” (Audience: APPLAUSE AND APPROVING CHEERS.)

“Really, I don’t think -” (Audience: HISSES AND BOOS.)

“Sorry Ms. Rice, Dr. Bill’s time is up. Cory Slovich, you’re up next.”

“Dr. Rice, don’t you feel any remorse for the thousands of people you senselessly slaughtered all to protect the oil cronies of your boss, the evil Bushitler?” (Audience: ERUPTIVE APPLAUSE AND CHEERS.)

“I don’t see how-” (Audience: LOUD, ANGRY BOOS.)

“Sorry, we don’t have time for your answer, but we do have time for this message from our sponsors. When we return, Rhonda Pond will tear away the mask with an explosive secret memo showing Rice’s guilt. Stay tuned!” (Audience: APPLAUSE.) (MUSIC UP AND FADE OUT.) ....


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