Along the Tracks

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

Keep an eye on Tom

I have discovered an important statistical correlation which may allow the prediction of world events, and in particular, actions directed by President George W. Bush:

Every time Democratic Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle goes public with sharp criticism of a specific Bush administration policy, something important happens which directly contradicts, in excruciatingly embarrassing fashion, that Daschle criticism.

I have been unable to determine if the correlation is a cause-effect or merely associative, but it has been nothing short of stunning. Let’s consider:
  • Last year at this time, Daschle made the “first move” by Democrats to end the “shoulder-to-shoulder with Bush” position on the war on terrorism by showing up on all the Sunday talk shows to announce he was “concerned” about our efforts in the war and “questioned” the president’s determination. In a matter of hours, Operation Anaconda broke into the news, making Daschle appear self-absorbed, political and cynical.
  • Last summer’s warm-up to confronting Iraq culminated in a Daschle press conference where he offered his “concern” that Bush was about to launch a unilateral war on Iraq without congressional or U.N. approval. The administration announced its desire for both just a couple days later, making Daschle appear self-absorbed, political and cynical.
  • Still reeling from his party’s stomping at the polls in early November, Daschle blurted out his shock that the president was alienating allies and failing to gain consensus in the U.N. on Iraq. I believe it was the next day that 1441 was passed, 15-0, making Daschle appear self-absorbed, political and cynical.
  • Last week, Daschle held a news conference to boldly announce his “concern” that the president was losing the war on terrorism because of his focus on Iraq. A few hours later, news broke that al Qaeda chief of operation Khalid Shaikh Mohammed had been captured in Afghanistan along with a treasure trove of names and documents and, perhaps, information on Osama bin Laden’s whereabouts - making Daschle appear self-absorbed, political and cynical.

    These are just the major events; numerous lesser examples are available - I’m thinking of making a database.

    Still, for this to be scientific, we need a test. So:

    When (don’t worry, it will happen) Daschle comes out to announce his “concern” that the president’s Iraq policy is a unilateralist failure and we should delay any action until a U.N. resolution passes unanimously, expect a major event to occur within 48 hours. Either a) a resolution will pass unanimously; b) Saddam Hussein will take provocative action against us or our allies; or c) the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq will begin with a host of allies on our side, some of whom we may not have heard about previously.

    I’ll watch the news closely, and let you know when the 48 hour countdown begins.

    Can somebody loan Canada a helicopter please?

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