Along the Tracks

Friday, January 31, 2003


The opening to my Saturday column in the Bryan Times:

To begin, a song (to the melody of “Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer”):
You know China and Egypt and Libya and Sudan,
Syria, Zimbabwe, Iran, North Korea.
But do you recall, the most galling obstructionists of all?
The Franco-German alliance, had a self-righteous tone,
And in the world of Europe, it’s obvious they stand alone.
All of the serious nations, came together on Iraq.
They didn’t pay due deference, to Herr Schroeder and Monsieur Chirac.
Then one anxious Tuesday night, Dubya came to say:
“What we seek to do is right; to stop the evil we’ll have to fight.”
Then all the nations got it, and they started falling in line,
Turns out, that lame “alliance,” was just an “old Europe” whine.

What, another? Let me see ... okay, how’s this (sung to “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”):
Piddle, paddle, Jacque Chirac,
Sees no danger with Iraq.
Those Twin Towers weren’t in France,
Besides, Germany wears the pants.
Piddle, paddle, Schroeder too.
Neither one knows what to do.

All right, all right. Just one more, then its time to get serious (to the classic, “Where Is Thumbkin?”):
Where is Chirac?
Where is Schroeder?
Here I am! Here I am!
What to do now that
Saddam has hidden weapons?
Run away! Run away!

That should set the tone of this piece pretty well ....

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